Saturday, December 20, 2008

Hurting Heart

The past few months have been difficult, and I'm looking forward to that artificial clean slate that comes with the New Year. I said goodbye to my latest class of students a little over a week ago, and I miss them. Several have graduated and are moving on in their life journeys. They were a bright spot in the bleakness of coping with my dad's illness and death this fall. I suppose in light of what's been going on in my life of late, it's not too surprising that my heart has been hurting. Unfortunately it's been more than emotional hurt as I've struggled again the last few months with palpitations and spells of rapid heart beats. The doctors have me on a monitor that records the problems so they can see if this is something that can be fixed. I hope so. This past week has been especially difficult, and left me contemplating my own mortality. That's probably a good thing for most of us to do from time to time. In any case, this past week after a particularly bad 24 hours, my husband and I went to dinner to celebrate with our church choir at the organist's home. As we gathered around the piano in her brightly decorated living room to sing Christmas carols, I closed my eyes and thought that if I had to die anytime soon, the memories of the beautiful music would carry my spirit heavenward. Then I thanked God for the good life I've had. My husband thinks that whatever is going on with my heart is not life threatening, and that's a good thing to know. I hope to live to see my beautiful grandkids grow up and to have a few more years to serve God here on God's good earth. As has been true from the beginning, however, my times are in God's good hands, and I'm content to rest in the peace of that knowledge.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue


Anne McCrady said...

Having spent the first forty years of my life (I'm 52 now) pretty sure I would die from asthma, I would never ask for the fear I remember but I am ever grateful for the resulting sense of wonder I have each morning that I have one more day to really live! Healthier now, I let that wonder lead me whenever life's uncertainty seems too much to bear! Thanks for noticing my InSpiritry website - it was born from just such thoughts!

Michael said...

A prayer that you for health and new opportunities to experience God's peace and presence during this new year. Neverending Shalom