Hope

I've been working on a sermon for tomorrow on the text from Matthew 2:13-23, which tells the story of the slaughter of the innocents in Bethlehem. I've also spent some time researching Herod the Great, who was not called that because of his kindly nature. In preparation, I finally got around to watching the movie The Nativity this afternoon. While not the greatest movie I've seen, it does a good job of portraying life in Judea at the time of Jesus' birth. I'm actually going to talk about Matthew's report of the murder of children under the age of two in Bethlehem, which is pretty grim stuff, especially for a grandmother with grandchildren that age. I nonetheless kept finding myself pulled back to this passage in particular. I like Rev. Dr. William Willimon's take on this passage in his 1998 sermon as well as Rev. Joy Carol Wallis' in her sermon, Putting Herod Back in Bethlehem. This is the world that we live in, one where the innocent are violated regularly by the powerful. It's also a world where all of us have sinned and too often seek what we want when we want it, rather than trusting in God. Jesus came into that world, not into some sanitized Christmas card version, but a real world of suffering and pain. We have hope because Christ has overcome the powers of sin and darkness in this world, not some mythical, magical place, but the real sinful world in which we live. That's Good News to take into the coming New Year.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

And a little child shall lead them

We have been blessed once again with a grandchild, another little boy, born earlier this week. I'm not quite as tired as if I'd given birth, but tired enough. This grandmothering is exhausting, exhilirating work. As I held this tiny child and looked into his bright, eager eyes, I found it hard to believe how much time has passed since his daddy was born. For a time, we were not at all sure that his daddy would make it as he tried to come three months early. Fortunately with the help of good medical care and ten weeks of bed rest by his mama, he arrived safely. What a blessing to welcome his child into this world. I have found that grandchildren are even more of a blessing than I expected. They help keep me young and remind me of God's unconditional love with their trusting innocence and ready affection. So I don't find the passage from the prophet Isaiah, Chapter 11, Verse 6, at all unbelievable: "The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them." I've been around small children a lot of late, and it could happen. Someday in God's good time I pray this whole weary world will be blessed with such peace.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Waiting

I suppose I've become a bit better at waiting thanks to my time at seminary, but that's only in comparison to my earlier even more impatient self. Now we sit poised between the past and the future once again as we await the birth of another grandchild. He was due today, but when we talked with his mama earlier, she said he seems to be happy right where he is. And so like Mary and Joseph, we continue to wait for the birth of a Christmas child.

I've learned my job as a grandmother is to wait, a hard assignment as I'm more of a woman of action. For now, however, all of us must wait for the miracle of this child, for God's timing. One thing I've learned in nearly 60 years of living is that it's always better to wait for God's timing. You think I would also have learned to be more patient in the waiting, and I suppose I have, but only in comparison to the past.

Now like the little girl I once was, I'm waiting excitedly for the birth of a child in this Holy season, a child who will change all of our lives, especially those of his mom and dad. I never had a Christmas present this exciting when I was a little girl, and at the moment I feel as impatient as I once felt as I waited for Christmas to come. It always seemed to take forever, yet somehow it always came. I'm sure this baby will come too, just not as soon as his waiting family had hoped.

May you too wait expectantly for the birth of the Holy Child who came in God's good time and changed all of our lives for the better.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Season of Hope

Sunday was the first Sunday in Advent for 2007, and Sumner and her family lit the candle of hope at the front of the sanctuary at the start of the worship service. Advent always seems to arrive each year just when I most need the reminder that this is still God's world with a lot of good things going on in spite of the bad news with which we are inundated on a daily basis. Advent arrives when I am in need of hope.

Emily Dickinson wrote something like: Hope is the thing without feathers that perches in the soul and sings the song without words and never stops at all. One of the Biblical writers wrote something like: Without hope the people perish. I know that without God in my life I would have no hope and my soul would shrivel up and die.

This past weekend, I personally participated in a bit of hopeful good news that will never make it onto CNN. My husband and I live in a remarkable neighborhood, where we know each other by name, and know the names of the kids and even the names of the pets. We are in short extended family here, even those like us who have arrived fairly recently. Saturday morning we had a neighborhood workday, which often means picking up the trash thrown along our private road. This time the workday meant yard work at the home of a recently widowed elderly neighbor with Alzheimer's.

For two hours, Scott with his gas powered hedge trimmer, and others with their clippers trimmed hedges and shrubs that had grown ragged and were trying to eat the mailbox, while others like me picked up the trimmings and stacked them for the next trash pickup. When one of the workers went to tell the woman we were finished, her response was "God bless you." What a blessing to be able to do yard work for someone who cannot. Then we gathered for a cookie swap and hot chocolate.

My heart was warmed by the experience of working with a group of neighbors who I know for a fact disagree with each other about many issues, especially in politics and theology. But we all agreed that our neighbor needed help. What a blessing to be able to play a small part in providing that help and to know others felt the same.

Each year I wait for that moment in Advent when God's kingdom breaks through the gloom once again to shine in my heart. This year I was blessed to experience that moment early, when neighbors came together with shared purpose. And the "thing without feathers" perched in my soul once again sang "the song without words." Thanks be to God that will be enough to see me through the new year until Advent once again arrives to remind me of God's eternal hope.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Giving Thanks

I am totally bummed at the moment. We were supposed to be on our way to San Antonio early this morning to celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow with our middle son and his family and in-laws. I'm sorry my husband has been stricken with a virus that has left him highly contagious, though I'm grateful he's not seriously ill. The timing is terrible. Time will tell if we can gather with our imnmediate family on Saturday. So I'm watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV (I do love parades), and writing this as an exercise in gratitude even though at the moment I am as my husband noted, heartbroken. It's not often that we are able to get our family, so the prospect of missing that has me feeling really sad.

But, enough on that. I'm grateful to be here with my husband with a day to relax. I'm grateful for a warm, dry place to spend the day and for food to prepare an unplanned Thanksgiving dinner later. I'm grateful that I can see and hear and walk around this morning, and that while my husband is ill, we are both generally in good health. I'm grateful for my wonderful sons and remarkable daughters-in-law. I'm grateful for our beautiful grandkids. We are blessed with good health, good relationships and work to do that we find rewarding. I'm grateful that we live here in peace and safety. Too many of God's children in this world have none of these blessings that I too often take for granted. Thanks be to God for all the ways my life has been blessed. May you find time this day to thank God for your blessings as well.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Nearing the end

I once again find myself stumbling toward the end of the semester. I'm not sure who is the tiredest at this point, me or my students. It has been a great run, but it's almost time for the hardest part of the semester for me--saying goodbye. But before we reach the end, I have to write a few more exams and grade a lot more exams and papers. I was told this week that the policy had changed and finals could no longer be optional, so I'm going to have another two dozen exams to grade than I had counted on. At the moment with Mount Everest in front of me, I'm not all that disappointed that I will not be teaching next semester. But I will be when January rolls around, and I'm not getting prepared for another semester. Hopefully in the future they will find another class for me to teach. I do love the interaction with the students. They are an immense blessing.

But God has been not so gently calling me to "honor my gift," and I'm still sorting out what that means. After much prayer it has become clear that whatever my gift may be it is no longer being a lawyer. It was hard to give up teaching business law, but I know I made the right decision to pass that baton on to another lawyer who is excited about a new opportunity. I think part of what I have to do to honor my gift is to pick back up with the writing. My class seemed intrigued this morning when I told them I was going to go back to my research on Christian vocation and professional ethics and finish the book I started. One student wanted to know if I'd already written it. I still have that part to do. Bob reminded me of my plans for the book, which I will tackle next semester, when he commented that one good way to judge your ethics is by what your mom would say about your actions. Wise advice, and not surprising as he is a wise man. So I shared the title I've come up with for the book: What Would Your Mom Say About Your Professional Ethics? Now I just have to write the essays to live up to the title. I wonder what my mom would say about this project? Unfortunately I'll have to wait until the next life to ask her.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Travelling to the Dark Side of the Moon

This past month has been way too busy, with classes, volunteer obligations and a bit part in the Sound of Music at my church, followed by a mission trip to Cuba from which we returned earlier this week. Now I find myself in the grudging stage of knowing I need to return to my life here, but resisting leaving behind the people and the memories of our trip to Cuba. The mission on this trip was to demonstrate to our Christian sisters and brothers in Cuba by our presence that they have not been forgotten.

It was not easy to obtain the required religious license from our government to travel there, and as that license expires the end of this month I don't know if I'll ever have the chance to see these new friends in this life again. I hope so. For in Cuba I saw once again the churches aflame with the Holy Spirit as they proclaim God's kingdom in the midst of poverty, both physical and spiritual.

A familiar Bible text from the prophet Joel was on the lectionary while we were there, and I realized I was seeing it lived out before my eyes, for God's spirit has been poured upon them and their sons and daughters are proclaiming God's message, their old people are dreaming of the kingdom and their young people are seeing visions of a future blessed by God. Once again, as at the end of my first trip to Cuba a year and a half ago, my heart wants to be both there and here at home.

Please pray for all of those Christians who proclaim the reason for the hope they have by their lives and their actions, as the pastor preached last Sunday at the Presbyterian church we attended in Havana. We proclaimed that hope by our presence worshipping and sharing communion together, those of us from the U.S. and the Cubans. I pray one day soon we will be free to travel easily from one country to the other. I want them to come and share their remarkable faith with my fellow Christians here, and I want to be able to return and see the people I have come to know and to love.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Prayers for peace

Our pastor included a request for prayers from the Office on the Middle East, Presbyterian Peacemaking Program and the Iraq Network PC USA, in our church's latest newsletter. I read this contribution this week as I have been contemplating once again the incessant violence we humans inflict on each other around the world. It is a timely reminder that we have Christian brothers and sisters in Iraq, including fellow Presbyterians. And also a reminder that all of the Iraqi people are suffering, not just our fellow Christians. The message asks Presbyterians to pause for prayer each day at noon Eastern time and to pray for our Iraqi brothers and sisters in Christ, all the people of Iraq, Iraqis who are refugees or living in Diaspora, men and women serving in the U.S. military as well as those serving in the militaries of other nations, the people of the U.S. who are impacted by the ongoing Iraq war, and all in positions of authority. The invitation to prayer has been communicated to Presbyterians and other Christians in Iraq "in order that we might stand together before God's throne of grace." To which I can only add, Hear our united prayers, O, Lord, and grant us your peace. Amen.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Faithful Partnership

A group from our church will be travelling once again to Cuba the end of next month. Our license from our government will expire soon after, so we elected to make a second trip not quite two years after the last one. I'm to be the translator on this trip, and I have more than a little anxiety about this as my spoken Spanish is still limited. However, my middle son has been practicing with me and has encouraged me greatly. And I am good at not giving myself enough credit for what I do know, an unfortunate legacy from a mother who wanted to be sure I did not think too highly of myself (it does say that in the Bible). She succeeded in her goal.

In any case, we are returning to visit our Presbyterian sisters and brothers in Cuba, and we will have an opportunity to spend more time in conversation this time as we will not be travelling to the center of the island on this trip. Last night I read (in Spanish)an article about church partnerships by the pastor of the church where we will be staying in La Habana, and as a result I'm most anxious to meet her and talk with her. She is obviously a woman of immense faith and deep wisdom. One comment in particular struck me, and I plan on using it to explain why we are making this trip (especially to our family):

"I believe that what is most valuable in our relations is that, in great measure, we have managed to overcome the barriers that our governments have erected between our two nations. We must keep on walking if we truly wish to make a prophetic witness in our faithfulness to the Gospel we proclaim."

To be a Christian means to reach out in love across the barriers the world constantly tries to erect between us--because we follow the one who constantly reached out across such barriers, and who also reached out to us.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Written on the Heart

I was privileged to preach at my home church this morning. Our pastor was absent and asked me to fill in while she was gone. While I have become fairly accustomed to being a substitute preacher in other places, it still feels strange to take that role in the church I have belonged to for over 25 years. I chose to talk about the prophet Jeremiah. My pastor was right--it was almost harder to rework a previous sermon than it would have been to simply start with a blank page. But I managed, by the grace of God, and the congregation was more than gracious in response.

As I struggled to find God's word for this morning, I was helped greatly by Eugene Peterson's introduction to the book of Jeremiah in The Message. He pointed out that Jeremiah lived in a time in some ways not so different from our own. There was war in the Middle East, and life for Jeremiah's people in tiny Judah was changing radically--much as life seems to be changing radically around us in our own time. Jeremiah tried repeatedly to call his people back to an intimate relationship with God that would sustain them in the tough times they faced. But like us, the people of Jeremiah's day were so caught up with the struggles of their everyday lives that they found it hard to spend the time required to have an intimate relationship with God. I know I struggle each day to make time in the midst of the day's challenges to spend quality time with God. So I suppose in large part I was preaching to myself.

I love Jeremiah's proclamation that I used as the basis for the sermon: "The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.... I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people." Jeremiah 31:31-34. My husband probably explained it best in his children's sermon as he told the children that learning something by heart means you always have it with you. And then he taught them the Shema: Hear O Israel, the Lord our God is one. You shall love the Lord, Your God, with all your heart, and with all your mind and with all your strength. I can't think of a better way to describe an intimate relationship with God, the kind of relationship that can sustain us through whatever challenges come to us in this life.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Civility in Action

On Wednesday this week I was privileged to see a Congressional Student Forum sponsored by the Institute for Civility in Government, which was co-founded by my friends, Rev. Cassandra Dahnke and Rev. Tomas Spath. I had heard about these events and even written about them in the book Cassandra and Tomas and I wrote together, Reclaiming Civility in the Public Square: Ten Rules That Work, but this was my first chance to experience one. It was a blessing. U.S. Representatives John Carter and Henry Cuellar came and answered questions from college students for an hour at the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor. The students were well prepared and asked good questions. Carter and Cuellar responded with thoughtful answers. As one of the students later said, it was apparent they were smart and had thought a lot about their work. While these two men obviously disagreed on a number of issues,they did so with civility and respect. It was good to see that this is still possible in our "Red State - Blue State" society. As I have reflected on this event I have thought about the Psalm that says how good it is when brothers live together in peace. Knowing how to disagree with each other with civility is important. The reality is that the opposite of civility is not incivility, but the chaos and violence that result when we dehumanize our opponents so that attacking or killing them comes to seem rational. In God's eyes we are all equal, and all of us have fallen short of the glory of God. A good reason to maintain civility when we talk with the rest of God's children.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Passionate moderation

I have been privileged to direct the local Interfaith Conversations group since my pastor convinced me to start it up after I graduated from seminary almost five years ago. We had our first fall meeting last night, and it was extraordinary as so many of these meetings have been. We talked about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict using the vehicle of Richard North Patterson's novel, Exile, which is a beautifully crafted story that manages to convey deep sadness and the complexity of the situation in a way that sometimes only fiction can accomplish. Thus it was that our group of twenty mostly Christians of various denominations gathered in a Presbyterian church in central Texas and listened to a Jewish American and a Muslim American talk about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict from their own unique personal perspectives. Those of us who had read the novel spoke of the deep sadness this fictional story engendered about such a persistently violent reality. One thing we all seemed to agree upon is the need for moderates to speak out--with passion as one group member eloquently expressed it.

Thus I was delighted to open the Austin paper this morning and read of a demonstration by moderates in Austin yesterday, which the organizer called a Muslim Peace March. After the march, the leader of a local Muslim community center quoted the Quran: "Whoever kills a person unjustly, it is as though he has killed all mankind." Indeed. Worth remembering as we near the sixth anniversary of the 9-11 attacks in this country and as the violence in the Middle East and around the world shows no signs of abating. Each person lost to violence is an irreplaceable loss. And the impact of their loss spreads out in ways that can never be fully calculated.

Passionate moderation is a healthy alternative to hand-wringing. Those heroes such as Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mother Teresa who have gone before us have demonstrated that one passionate person can make a huge difference.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Teaching

I was reading from the Epistle of James this morning in Eugene Peterson's The Message, and was transfixed by the beginning of Chapter 3: "Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths." That certainly sums it up. If only I could achieve the perfection in the classroom I have in mind as I prepare. But that will happen if ever only for fleeting, rare moments. And any such perfection will likely be due as much to the students' efforts as to mine. And to God's grace. I have always been blessed with the most amazing students, eager, hard-working and very forgiving of the teacher. I just wish I could be the kind of teacher Jesus was. Now there's a role model for teaching. After another late night getting ready for class tomorrow, it's time to get some rest and pray that God will be with me in the classroom and with my students as we learn from each other. For that is what keeps me going.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Of mice and women

We discovered a mouse problem in the pantry where we keep the pet food. I refused to use the traditional mouse trap, but instead prevailed upon my husband to try a humane alternative. So far we've trapped two and taken them out to the edge of our property to release them. It turns out in addition to cat and dog food they love peanut butter. The mice and I have something in common. Actually I realized today that a love of peanut butter is not the only thing the mice and I have in common. My husband went to the same pantry this morning and pulled out the picnic basket to use as a prop in his Children's Sermon at church. He thought it felt a little heavy, and when he removed the lid, he discovered a mouse nest, made from the material of the cloth napkins, two of which had perfect circles eaten through them.

He discovered the reason the basket was heavy is that the mice had carried innumerable pieces of pet food to the basket and filled each of the plastic goblets and coffee mugs to the brim. To me, the strangest part of this was that they stored their purloined food stores right next to the big sacks of pet food. It seemed to me it would have been easier to just eat from the lavish banquet that was provided rather than hoarding stores right next door. But then I realized how much I am like these mice. Like them, and like the Israelites in the wilderness, I am reluctant to rely entirely on the bounty that God promises and regularly makes available to me. God prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies, but I want the security of having plenty of food in the pantry. I become anxious when material possessions are low or threatened.

One of my seminary professors, Dr. David Jensen, writes in an article on Globalization about the difference between our fast food culture and the abundance God provides in Holy Communion. We gobble our fast food as if fearful that someone will take it. But at God's table there is always room for one more and always plenty of food and drink to share. Too often we see the world in terms of scarcity, when God offers us abundance. I thought of that and of the mice as we took communion this morning.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Integrity

We talked in my Business Ethics class this past week about integrity, and the students knew instinctively what it means. One suggested it meant truthfulness, another being genuine, and I offered from the dictionary unbroken, whole. I told them about getting to hear Parker Palmer, author of Let Your Life Speak and A Hidden Wholeness, speak at a conference in Dallas on the challenge of maintaining our integrity in the workplace. That is not an easy task.

As I was reviewing the Bible texts on the lectionary for tomorrow morning in preparation for being the layleader in worship, I realized that Hebrews 13:7-8 (from Eugene Peterson's The Message)offers a great definition of integrity as well as the best example I can think of. "There should be a consistency that runs through us all. For Jesus doesn't change--yesterday, today, tomorrow, he's always totally himself." Now that's integrity! I only hope to be able to approximate that standard in my life, but I keep trying. Fortunately God possesses infinite patience.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Sloth

I am reminded today that one of the seven deadly sins is sloth. After enjoying a day off yesterday celebrating my birthday by doing mostly just what I wanted to do, I'm finding it hard today to get back to work preparing to teach Sunday School and my classes next week, doing laundry, picking up and putting away and all those mundane chores that are required to keep a home functioning. Contemplating the work that needs to be done, I find myself wishing I could just goof off. But I also know myself well enough to know that I would not be content for too long if all I ever had to do was goof off. And besides as God has richly blessed me, I feel an obligation to use the gifts with which I have been blessed rather than just sitting here being slothful. I'm grateful for the ability and freedom to work at a job I like very much. Teaching is rewarding because of the interaction with the students, and because it forces me to keep learning. So this Labor Day weekend, I'm grateful for the opportunity and the ability to labor. Too many in this world are not so blessed.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Signs of grace around us

As I was walking our dog, Moses, this morning, I was surprised to see an elderly neighbor buzzing down the road on his riding lawnmower. It was early and I've not seen him driving about the neighborhood before. But then I realized he was probably heading to the home of an elderly woman with Alzheimer's who lost her husband not long ago. And indeed he turned into her driveway. I had noticed her yard had grown up again. Shortly after her husband died, the neighbors got together and mowed, trimmed trees and hedges and generally fixed up the yard. Her husband had been frail for some time, but had insisted on continuing to do it for himself. His wife does not have the ability to keep the place up. In a world where the morning headlines speak of the unspeakable things we human beings do to each other on a regular basis, it was a small thing, but it warmed my heart. There are good things happening around us in this world. We just have to keep our eyes and hearts attuned to God's presence and to those who serve God here among us.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

And they shall come from east and west

We have been blessed to return for a visit with our new grandchild, now a week old, and our son and daughter-in-law and her mother, who is a blessing herself. It has also been an east-west cultural experience in which I have learned about Chinese customs surrounding a new baby, and have worked to try to care for our son as well by bringing his favorite dinner (spaghetti and meatballs) along. I've learned that the Chinese have a saying that the whole world is in a parents' heart, meaning that the children are a parent's whole world. Our son is now learning that about his son. How fast these innocent little ones capture our hearts. This is our third grandchild, and each is such a unique blessing. I'm so grateful to God for the grace of having lived long enough to experience this. To every thing there is a season, and my season now is that of a Grandmother/Abuela/Nai Nai,with a full heart. Thanks be to God!

Bittersweet

I talked with our neighbors this morning as I returned from walking our dog, Moses, and I learned that they are taking their oldest child off to college today. His mama commented that she couldn't believe how fast the time had gone (meaning his life since birth), and then said she knew I understood as we now have grandchildren. I wished her well and said I knew taking a child off to school for the first time is such a bittersweet experience. She agreed as we both got a little teary-eyed. I still remember taking our sons off to college (I even remember when they started kindergarten!), and while I would not trade the adult relationships we now have for the ones we had when they were teenagers, I do miss having them around.

As I watched our first born hold his first born for the first time a week ago, I was forcefully reminded that at the moment they are born,our children begin their journey away from us. Literally at birth, as well as when they leave home for college, but also in more subtle ways in between, and after they leave home for that matter as they create families of their own and pursue their own careers. After all that is the job of children, to learn to stand on their own and make their way in the world. And our job as parents is to help them do that using all the resources we can muster as we love them no matter what. But it is a bittersweet journey--full of pride, and love and grief as the tiny baby we held close grows to adulthood. Thankfully God is with us on this journey. Otherwise I would not have survived thus far!

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

New Every Morning

We just returned from choir practice (the first after a summer break) and rehearsing a Cindy Berry piece for Sunday, "New Every Morning." I love the lyrics, especially "in Your mercy You have given me an anchor for my soul." It's good to be reminded that God's mercies are new every morning. I found myself this morning still half-asleep walking Moses, our dog, and wondering why, since I had just walked around the old live oak tree at the end of our subdivision not many hours earlier after supper last night. But then I began to think about those who don't have a safe place to walk, or legs to walk with for that matter, and I found my eyes opening to the beauty of God's world around me as the day warmed up. I remembered that I walk every day because I try to take care of my body. I hope I will be around to dance at my grandchildren's weddings. I've learned that exercise is like brushing your teeth, you have to do it every day. It's not something you can do once in awhile and be effective. I've learned that prayer is like that too. A relationship with God is like any other relationship, it takes daily time and effort. I pray God will continue to allow me time to exercise this aging body in God's beautiful creation and my aging soul in God's presence through prayer.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Forgiveness

I was struck by Eugene Peterson's version of a familiar verse from Mark, which I read this morning. In The Message, Mark 11:26, Jesus tells his disciples, "And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive--only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins."

I'm good at asking, but not so good at forgiving, not even the small things sometimes. I've learned that I am best able to forgive when I remember to ask God's help. On my own I simply cannot get there. And even with God's help, it frequently takes awhile. Perhaps that's why Jesus reminded the disciples that they needed to be willing to forgive if they expected God to forgive them.

I think there's more to this than a not-so-thinly-veiled threat. I think perhaps what Jesus meant was that unless we are willing to grant forgiveness to others, we will never be able to comprehend how God can possibly forgive us. And thus we will be unable to accept God's great gift of forgiveness for ourselves. For my part, I know I will have to keep working on this long as I live, and for all I know into the next life as well. For as the Psalmist wrote so long ago, I know my sins, and they are forever before me. Wash me clean, Lord, for You are the only one who can. May you find it in your heart, with God's help, to forgive others, so that you can experience God's mercy and love when you need forgiveness yourself.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Great Peace

We have just returned home from visiting our son and daughter-in-law and our new grandson, whose Chinese name means Great Peace. He is a beautiful, healthy little boy, and I'm so grateful to God for his safe arrival and for his mom's well-being. He did not have an easy entry into this life. I'm thankful for the God who watches over me and my children and their children. And also for the blessing of this new life. I pray his life will be full of the Great Peace his name promises. May your life also be filled with the peace of God that passes all understanding.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Waiting for Peanut

I like to read from Eugene Peterson's contemporary rendering of the Bible in The Message. This morning I read Psalm 42 and especially liked the opening verse: "A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God." What a wonderful image as we enter yet another 100 degree day here in Texas. And what a wonderful reminder of how to refresh my anxious spirit as I wait for the arrival of our newest grandchild. "Peanut" is due later this month, but at the last appointment the tests showed he is already over 9 pounds, so our son expects they will deliver him early, one way or the other. Our daughter-in-law is a small woman, so I am concerned about her well being as well as our grandson's and of course our son's as he also waits anxiously for his son's arrival.

My mother always told me I was born impatient. I have no way of knowing if that is true or not. I do know I have had to learn to practice patience, like most folks do I suppose. I have learned with our first two wonderful grandchildren that one of the jobs of a grandparent is to stand patiently on the sidelines and wait. When there is a crisis, as when our first grandson was rushed to the hospital ill, I find waiting patiently most difficult. I would rather be doing something, almost anything!, besides waiting patiently and leaving things in God's good hands.

Probably more than patience, I have had to continually relearn the importance of relying upon God and God's promises--for myself and for my children and for their children. I do "want to drink God, deep draughts of God." I just have to regularly remind myself of what a blessing it is to do that and then to wait patiently for God's timing. Some things, like the arrival of a precious grandchild, cannot be hurried.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

School excitement

I was one of those kids who loved going to school. In fact I loved it all the way through, though I have to admit I didn't enjoy law school as much as college. Seminary, however, was one of the best things I've ever done, though harder in some respects than law school. It demanded more of a personal response than law school.

Now I'm the teacher instead of the student and my summer has already ended. I just turned in my contract for the fall semester, and I am working on getting the course syllabi finalized. It's just about time to take the plunge. I understand better now after several semesters of teaching college students why, when I told one of my seminary professors that the semester always felt like I was galloping from start to finish, she responded, I just want to get on the horse before it takes off!

Now I'm looking forward to getting to know a new group of students, and I'm honored to see that a couple of former students have signed up to take the plunge with me again. It's always a rewarding challenge to start a new class and work to make it a community where we are comfortable enough to teach and learn from each other. Of course when that happens (and so far it always has) it's also hard to say goodbye at the end of the semester.

What a blessing to have work to do that is challenging and rewarding and that I love to do. God is good. All the time. Even here and now when it feels like my life is preparing to gallop out of control for the next few months! I am also getting ready to teach a month long Sunday school class on Christianity and World Religion and several weeks of Spanish Bible study on the Prophet Jeremiah. And we are expecting the imminent arrival of another grandchild. I know for sure that I won't be bored. May you too find rewarding work to do that you love and discover the joy of using your God-given talents in God's service.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Watermelon memories

I never liked watermelon much as a child. I didn't really start eating it until I was pregnant with our oldest son and developed watermelon cravings. Since then I have enjoyed eating watermelon. This week I bought a small one, and we enjoyed some last night for supper. It helped cool the heat of the shrimp tacos I made. As I was cutting up the watermelon last night, I remembered eating watermelon when I was pregnant and thought about that oldest son, who is now expecting his own son any day.

As we have journeyed with our son and his wife through this past nine months, I've been reminded of the wonder of being pregnant and the blessing of taking part in the creation of new life. I pray we will not go so far with our technology that we think we have gained control over the process. Because God alone is the creator. When we forget that God is the center of the universe, not us, we inevitably stumble and fall. The world is designed with God at the center. Those who do not understand that are like people staggering around in an unfamiliar home after dark, tripping over the furniture and running into the walls because they are in unfamiliar surroundings.

I pray that this little one will arrive safely. His other grandmother and her siblings have chosen his Chinese name. It will be Great Peace. How wonderful to think about this little one and what a marvelous creation he is. I pray he will know that all of his life. And that you too will remember that you are God's marvelous creation.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Speaking in Tongues

I'm pursuing my goal of becoming fluent in Spanish more urgently now as a group from our church is headed back to Cuba on another mission-study trip the end of October before our religious license from the U.S. government expires. I just spent an hour speaking splintered Spanish with another member of our group at the local Starbucks. We both studied Spanish in college, but neither of us has had much experience in actual conversation. We're trying to remedy that by practice and laughed together as we struggled to find the words, conjugate verbs and rapidly use our dictionaries. I have learned much from watching Spanish language television, both the news and the telenovelas (like English soap operas the acting is exaggerated so that learning words comes easier), and from reading the Bible in Spanish. I learned on a trip to the Presbyterian Border Ministry at Nuevo Laredo a few years ago as well as on the previous trip to Cuba what a blessing it is to be able to listen to Christian sisters and brothers speak of their faith in their own language.

My husband and I are also working on learning some Mandarin Chinese, which is more of a challenge to our English-speaking ears. I have come to like this language, however, for its elegant simplicity and also for the fact that it's not necessary to conjugate verbs! I hope one day to travel to Taiwan when our daughter-in-law's mother returns to visit her family there. She has invited us to join her. I recently asked Cokesbury to look for a Chinese-English Bible. I've discovered that reading something you know something about already in another language gives you a bit of a head start. And I want to learn to pray in yet another language.

In our shrinking world, learning others' languages is a way to build community. In our family, both Spanish and Chinese are part of our grandchildren's heritage, so it is important for us to learn out of respect for the members of our wonderfully rich extended family. I also hope that language study will continue to challenge my aging brain and help keep it functioning. May you too find a way to speak in tongues about your faith.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Death on the Driveway

I am feeling a bit guilty about the baby I killed on the driveway this morning. The older I get the more Buddhist I seem to become--reluctant to harm any living thing. This baby, however, was a baby pit viper, probably a diamond back rattler from the markings on his little back. I've read that the babies are even more dangerous than the grown snakes because their venom is concentrated. I walked by with the dog and thought at first it was a leaf, but realized it was moving and went back to look. I thought about letting it go, but then remembered the full-grown rattlesnake that accosted my husband on our postage-stamp-sized grassy area out back recently, and I went back to commit cold-blooded murder with my walking stick.

In the story of Adam and Eve in the Book of Genesis in the Bible, God cursed the serpent, "To slink on your belly and eat dirt all of your life. I'm declaring war between you and the Woman, between your offspring and hers. He'll wound your head, you'll wound his heel." (I like Eugene Peterson's version of the story in The Message.) And so the battle continues. At least here in Texas, where leaving the yard in its natural state does not mean living in Eden. We have spiders and scorpions and cactus and poison ivy, and snakes. But also bunnies and birds of many varieties and the occasional lynx and fox. So perhaps it is a bit like Eden after all.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

The weight of memory

I have just returned from a visit to Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, where I had lunch with a former classmate who is visiting from Egypt. As I drove onto the campus, I felt the same sense of peace that always steals over me when I arrive there. Somehow this trip to meet a friend I had not seen since graduation almost five years ago brought back so many memories that I found myself momentarily weighed down by both the reality of now and the reality of then. Perhaps that is always the result of being in a "thin" place where heaven and earth are close upon one another. I have felt the same thing in Iona, and also standing among the ruins at Troy. I suspect that time is more fluid than we humans realize with our constant drive to contain and organize and control our world and our lives. Perhaps time, like God, cannot be neatly contained in the categories and forms within which we try to restrain them. I suspect that's a good thing. What's life without mystery!

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Yesterday I preached a sermon on the topic of material possessions. As I was enjoying relaxing and reading the Sunday morning paper when we returned home, I read an advertisement that said something like: buying is good, just give in and do it. I will give the advertiser points for honesty. No subtle hints. Just cut to the heart of the matter. We live in a culture in which material possessions are considered all important by all too many of us.

The problem is not that buying is bad. We all need food and shelter to survive. But centering life on material things only is a losing proposition. They don't bring us lasting happiness, and they don't guarantee our security. Which was the point of Jesus' story about the rich fool, who had an abundant harvest and decided he could simply build bigger storehouses, retire and be secure for many years. As Jesus told the story, no one else entered into the rich fool's thoughts as he made his plans. His wealth didn't even buy him the security he expected as he didn't live long enough to carry out his plans. You can read his story in Chapter 12 of the Gospel of Luke in the Bible.

Robert Samuelson, in a recent article in The Washington Post titled "The Bliss We Can't Buy" writes about the fact that even in times of economic prosperity, people's self-reported happiness doesn't increase. He notes that our economy has certainly increased the "material well-being" of many in this country, but concludes nonetheless that, "The old adage is true: Money can't buy happiness. We ultimately get satisfaction from our relations with family and friends, the love we give or receive, the meaning we find in work, service, religion or hobbies." Jesus couldn't have said it better.

Be good to yourself by finding other ways to enhance your life and your happiness than buying what George Carlin called stuff. Volunteer to help others less fortunate than yourself. Spend time with those you love and who love you. Life is too precious to waste on the things that don't bring lasting happiness and don't matter eternally.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue