Time travel

With only a couple of days remaining in this year and in this decade, it is breathtaking to contemplate the changes in my life in the past ten years--mostly for the better. God alone knows what changes the coming year will bring, and I'm content to leave the unknown future in God's good hands. As for the coming decade, I may or may not be around to see it end, though with the heart problems currently under control I'm much more hopeful about that possibility than I was a year ago. In any case, I plan on giving thanks for each new day. I know that I am closer now to the end of this journey than I am to the beginning. I've been richly blessed so far, and as God is good I trust my remaining time in this life will also be blessed. I'm grateful for the distance I've travelled and for the promise of the coming new year.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Jesus loves the little children

Our granddaughter became seriously ill with probable swine flu yesterday. Her brother had it a little over a week ago. I think what's scary about the disease is that it hits the young and very young the hardest, and there doesn't seem to be any rational reason why some become really sick and others don't. This bug has scared the doctors in the family, and it takes a lot to do that.

There's nothing like the serious illness of someone you love to put other problems in proper perspective. When she became so sick, the other things I was worried about became insignificant. I knew for sure that all I wanted for Christmas was for her to be healthy again. Well, that and world peace.

This morning she is much better, though pretty cranky. I'll take cranky over the feverish little girl of yesterday anytime. Thanks be to God for the prayers of our church family, for modern medicine, and for her return to health. I found great comfort yesterday when the congregation sang "Jesus Loves Me." I was reminded that Jesus loves my little granddaughter very much and would care for her no matter what happens in her life. A good reminder in this season of Christmas.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Wisdom

I have been thinking about wisdom as I have worked on my latest sermon, which I will deliver the last Sunday of this year. According to my theological dictionary, wisdom is knowing what is good and true and knowing the difference between what is true and what is false. In the chapter, "Infallibility," in Kathleen Norris' book, Amazing Grace,she says, "Adult infallibility ... is a regrettable condition, a type of regression, a hardening of the arteries around the heart of ignorance." I think to avoid this kind of spiritual heart disease, we have to continue to learn and to grow in wisdom all the days of our lives. So I continue to try to teach myself Chinese characters by reading the Psalms each morning in my Chinese-English Bible and to study writing with a retired English professor at the local community center and to learn from others about life. I'm thankful to God for the ability and the opportunity to continue to learn and hopefully to grow in wisdom.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Distant Thunder

When we first moved here to Central Texas, I found the sound of distant explosions frightening. Now, however, they have become familiar background noise, just the sound of artillery practice at nearby Ft. Hood. I heard them again this week, and thought how easy it has become to ignore this reminder of war and destruction. These days the two wars in which our country is involved aren't always on the front page of the morning paper or the lead stories on the news. The violence seems only to matter to those for whom it is personal, who have loved ones in harms way or have lost them to the violence of war and terrorism. In this season as I contemplate once again the birth of the Prince of Peace, I think how much this weary world needs peace. Peace is hard work. Violence often seems like a quick solution. Then we spend generations trying to fix the problems the quick fix of violence caused. Perhaps if more of us were willing to take a chance on peace the tide would turn. Perhaps I should be willing to take a step in that direction rather than waiting for others to move first. Maybe then I might be a light shining in the darkness of this world for others to see.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Giving Thanks

We're in San Antonio for a family Thanksgiving celebration. At the moment all is quiet. One grandson is sleeping and the two youngest went to the zoo. Grandpa is watching football, and I'm trying to learn to navigate around my new laptop, which has a different keyboard. I like the Spanish name for Thanksgiving Day, el Dia de Accion de Gracias, the day for thanks action. Somehow that sounds like more is required than just sitting and eating, or even praying, though prayer is always a good action. The last two days I have been offering up many prayers of thanksgiving for family and friends, for health and living in peace and safety. Too many around the world lack these most basic requirements for well-being, for shalom. I'm especially thankful for being welcome in my sons' homes and for the opportunity to spend time with them, our beautiful daughters-in-law and our grandsons. To be this blessed has been worth all the struggle and occasional pain in the experience of arriving at this point in my life. I will try to give thanks each new day that God grants me on this earth.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Flashbacks

It has been a year now since my dad died. This week was the first anniversary. It's hard to believe he's really been gone a year. Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday. I've been having flashbacks of late, mostly to childhood Christmases. One morning recently I was walking the dogs and caught the scent of pine in the air, which instantly brought memories of the annual Christmas tree. More recently, I found myself frozen in the grocery store near tears as some sappy Christmas song drifted over the sound system. Grief has been such a strange experience, coming and going in waves that were initially overwhelming, but have slowly become more bearable, something like the ocean as a storm roars past first bringing enormous waves that gradually become smaller as the storm fades. Mostly I have found that the unpleasant memories have begun to fade, while the positive ones remain. Maybe that's God's way of helping me cope. I preached a sermon this past Sunday about trusting God in difficult times. Now I'm working on one on the topic of power. The world's view of power seems to generally involve force or violence. But I think the most powerful force in the universe is love. I remember my dad closed every phone call by saying, "Remember I love you." That memory has been a gift to hold close.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

The Clock Angel

We were invited to a Halloween party by our oldest grand kids last weekend. We went with simple costumes. I once again dressed as the Fairy Grandmother in my long white dress with the scepter decorated with tinsel and the fuzzy halo. Of course the halo could also signify an angel, which is what the kids often assume. My husband asked me to bring him a simple costume from the grocery store if I could find one, so I brought home bright red horns surrounded with black fur on a head band. I told him it was not a comment on his personality, but the only thing available. He wore his red shirt. Some of the kids were a little frightened of the devil.

We helped set up the party, and while the 35 kids that had been invited ran around and had fun, I sat on the front porch with the big silver alarm clock, setting it off at regular intervals so the older kids and the younger kids could take turns in the jumping castle--our daughter-in-law wisely decided there would be less chance of injury that way. As the alarm didn't work on schedule, I set it off by simply turning it on, which worked fairly well. It also allowed me to vary the times, less for the little ones when they lost interest, and cutting short the time for the older ones when they became too violent in their jumping onto and into each other.

I wasn't sure anyone (besides the kids in the jumping castle) was really paying much attention to what I was doing. But, as she was leaving the party, one mother told me she had told her son he had to pay attention to the Clock Angel and leave the jumping castle when the alarm went off. So I have a new name, which I'm still thinking about. I think I like it. My mind keeps running to the scripture that says, "My times are in Your hands." I like knowing that all the days and times of my life are in God's good hands. Maybe he even has a Clock Angel to help keep track.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Blessings

We had a crazy, wonderful weekend. Our three year old granddaughter and their six month old puppy came in Thursday evening. She and I watched the movie Enchanted, or half of it as she had to go to bed. We watched the rest the next day while we waited for two of her cousins to arrive. They are 22 months and 6 months old. We ate hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. The wagon got a work out as we took walks with the puppy around the big live oak tree. The mile and a half walk is too far for the little ones, but they love riding in the bright, red wagon we bought for walks. The neighbors stopped to talk or waved as they drove by our parade. What a blessing these beautiful children are in our lives. They help us see the world again with a child's innocent wonder. I'm so grateful to have lived long enough to know my children's children. I have learned to see God's blessings most clearly in the everyday, small blessings, like the opportunity to watch a princess movie with my granddaughter. God is good, all the time, and especially good to me, more so than I can ever deserve.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Acedia

I've been reading Kathleen Norris' latest book, Acedia & Me. She has such a beautiful writing style and her wisdom as always shines through the pages of this book. I like that she has named what she says is a common sin in our time, that sense of apathy and detachment from all that is evil in the world, a sense that is much too strong for the meek word "sloth." It helps to know I'm not the only one who struggles regularly against this ancient demon, which regularly can convince me that what I do doesn't matter anyway, so why bother. I especially like her suggestion for combating this sin, "earnest devotion." I intend to do my best to remember this as an antidote when the weight of all that is wrong in God's good creation leaves me frozen in a state of inaction. I cannot fix all the problems of this world, but I can earnestly devote my attention to the work to which God has called me. Good news indeed.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Many hands make peace--International Day of Peace, September 21, 2009

My grandmother had a saying, which I learned from my mother, her youngest daughter: Many hands make light work. I saw vivid proof of that last night as our church's youth group and their sponsors helped me bake the 300 cookies I had promised for the local Art of Peace Festival. The festival is this weekend and celebrates the International Day of Peace. The proceeds from the festival will go to the Central Texas Child Advocacy Center, which helps abused and neglected children.

Helen, the amazing artist who arranged all of this, said in January that she wanted to do something for peace as opposed to just talking about it. She decided that helping local children was a good place to start. Being Helen, she recruited artists and writers and singers and a myriad of other folks to help. Sunday evening my husband and I will go to enjoy the art and poetry and good food, including some of the 28 dozen cookies the youth helped me bake last night. I reminded them of the reasons for their hard work as we dashed around the kitchen, just as I reminded myself the night before during the hours it took me to make that much cookie dough! Sometimes making peace is as sweet as making homemade cookies.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

60 and Counting

With the help of my wonderful family, I passed a milestone yesterday. I still find it hard to believe I'm now 60 years old. The celebration began on Friday and continued through the weekend so by the time Sunday rolled around I had begun to get used to the idea. I'm not sure why we humans choose to focus on such milestones, but this birthday has been a good time for me to stop and take stock of where I am and where I hope to go in the remaining time that God allows me on this earth.

I spent the weekend seeing vividly before me the many blessings of my life. Sometimes I think God allows us for a brief time to see the world through God's eyes, and this weekend was such a time for me. My sons and their wives and children spent months planning a celebration on my behalf. Their love helped heal the many wounds of this past year of my life.

I enjoyed the party immensely and especially the fact that we were able to be together for a time, a rare occurrence these days. So I watched all of their beautiful faces around the dinner table as my husband gave thanks for my life, and I gave thanks for having each of them in my life. I watched my grand kids play together with their cousins and aunts and uncles. My heart throbbed with the beauty of it all. Whatever happens in my life from now on, I will carry these wonderful memories with me. God is good and this weekend, I remembered to say so and to give thanks.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

You Raise Me Up

This morning's church service took my breath away with the force of the feelings it evoked. Perhaps being tired from a day trip to Houston and back for a conference yesterday left me a bit more open and vulnerable to God's presence. The best part of the service was listening to young Wesleigh singing to us again. He still sounds like an angel, in spite of the trauma of the past year of his life. To see him and to listen to him sing once more meant being witness to a miracle. Last summer, he was in a motorcycle accident that fractured his skull and left him hovering between this world and the next for some time. Even when it became apparent that he would survive, there was no assurance that he would recover any kind of normal life or ever be able to sing again. Many prayed for his recovery for many weeks, and suddenly today, there he stood among us, whole and beautifully singing: "You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. And I am strong, when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up, to more than I can be." And God's people said, "AMEN!" This is the God I know and love--the God who, not always, but sometimes, returns one of us from death's doorstep to serve God a bit longer in this world. Thanks be to God for the chance to experience this miracle on this day.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Dream World

I read somewhere that if you want to remember your dreams you simply need to remind yourself to do so as you're falling asleep. I don't know for sure if that really works, but I do know that of late I've been remembering more dreams. Mostly it's fun to contemplate the places my mind wanders while my body sleeps. The night before last I dreamed I was in the mountains at a resort where the surrounding scenery looked suspiciously like the opening scene in the movie The Sound of Music. I looked up at the mountains and realized I felt chilled, so I buttoned my sweater up around my neck. As I twirled around soaking up the cold, I commented to a woman sitting at one of the outdoor tables that it was good to feel cold after living in the heat of the Texas summer.

Then I looked up at the glaciers frozen high in the crags of the mountains and realized they were melting just like the snow used to melt in the sun when I was a little girl growing up in Kansas City. Or perhaps the water I saw raining down was tears for all that is melting and changing in a world that seems to be growing ever hotter. We're only at mid-July here in Central Texas, so August, traditionally the hottest month is still to come. It's been over 100 degrees every day for so many days that the promised high-90s for the weekend is called a cold wave. Maybe it's no wonder that I'm seeking out the cold in my sleep!

I pray God's blessing upon our children and their children and their children's children because if the scientists are right about the consequences of global warming, our descendants will need all the help God can provide. And I pray that we will find the courage and the political will to make the changes we must to alleviate our contribution to the growing warmth--before it's too late.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Heartsong

I have been given a new lease on life, and the answer to a prayer I wrote in January at our church's women's conference. For the last many months I've struggled with a racing heart beat that has been at times very irregular. My doctor had increased the one heart medicine I was taking, but the problems continued. So I went to see the heart electrician. He prescribed a second medicine and told me to come back in a month. I saw him again today and told him he had given me my life back. I didn't realize how long I'd been feeling badly until the medicine fixed the problem. Now I'm back to exercising regularly and have something like my old energy and enthusiasm for daily life. I'm so grateful to God and to the doctors as well as to those who invented this magic medicine I'm now taking.

It's funny how I never spent a lot of time worrying about my heart until it started misfiring. It simply sang along to its regular beat, and I never paid any attention. Too often I'm guilty of taking the most important things in my life for granted, until something happens and I notice their absence. So I'm trying to be more thoughtful of my husband, and more grateful to God for all of my many blessings, too numerous to count. One of those is a heart that's been beating since my birth almost 60 years ago now. I'm glad it's no longer stumbling, and I hope it will continue to beat for a few more years so that I can find ways to continue to serve God.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

I've become a lovey

Each of our younger grandchildren have their own unique comfort items. For our second grandson, they are tops his mother has worn so they carry her scent. I wish I'd thought of that when our sons were babies! For the two youngest grandsons they are burp cloths. For our granddaughter, it's a soft blanket with a satin edge.

We had a wonderful family celebration this past weekend when our two youngest grandchildren were baptized. Most of our family was able to come for the party, which included an Italian feast our daughter-in-law put together. It was an amazing, exhausting day. After lunch, as we sat talking, our granddaughter sat quietly in my lap. She's beginning to outgrow nap time, but she was still tired. For a long time, she has gone to sleep with her thumb in her mouth and one of her soft blankets with the satin edges snuggled close. As she dozes off she rubs the edge of the blanket with her thumb.

I realized that as she sat on my lap, she had her thumb in her mouth and was rubbing my hand with her thumb, the same way she rubs her blanket at bed time. I was at first surprised, and then overwhelmed that I had become her comfort item. I was honored that she felt that same sense of comfort with me. I've become a lovey! I can think of few things I'd rather be at this stage in my life than a lovey for one of my beautiful grandchildren.

I've been working on yet another sermon, struggling with the text in Mark that depicts Jesus being rejected by the people of his home town. The title of my sermon is "Looking for God in All the Wrong Places." I think we do that, hoping for a God who will come and punish our enemies and make us safe so that we never have to suffer. But that's not the kind of God we have. Instead we have a God who came to earth as a Jewish carpenter and who remains as close as our own heartbeat. I thought of my granddaughter as I was working on the sermon today and realized that God is a lot like her lovey, ready to be snuggled close to us whenever we reach out and to provide comfort in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Riding the Roller Coaster

I have had a strange few days with ups and downs akin to riding a roller coaster. Tuesday I went to my appointment with the cardiology specialist who calls himself a "heart electrician." After looking through my records and talking with me, he prescribed a new heart medicine. I always take a deep breath and say a prayer before starting any new medication because I have unfortunately inherited my mother's tendency to react to many medicines. After two doses, I was ecstatic at how much better I felt. I hadn't realized how much the heart irregularities had slowed me down.

Then, yesterday morning, I had a serious allergy attack. I immediately thought of the new medicine as nothing else had changed in my life in the past few days. This attack was bad enough that I dug out my EpiPen and re-read the instructions. Fortunately I've never had to use it, but I was grateful to have it available. I called and talked with the nurse, who consulted the heart electrician and called me back. The doctor thought it unlikely that the reaction was related to the new medicine, especially since I'd already taken several doses.

So I said a prayer at supper and gingerly took another dose. My husband's prayer at supper was for me not to die. I sat up reading for some time last night with the EpiPen close by, and then I said another prayer and went to bed. My husband asked me this morning if I'd said my "Now I Lay Me's" last night, and I told him I had indeed. Sometimes the simplest prayers say it best: "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." So far today, I'm breathing okay. I'm so thankful to God for another day of life and for feeling so good again!

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

We are family

Yesterday we had a Pentecost celebration at church, including a birthday cake for this annual celebration of the birthday of the church. The children ran around the church at the beginning of the service in red, orange and yellow tunics waving wands with ribbons of the same colors attached. They were the tongues of flame that appeared in the midst of our worship. Two neighborhood young people who have been attending our church since their older brother was drawn by the basketball goal were baptized yesterday. Their home life is more challenging than that of most of the kids in our congregation, and as evidence of that their mother did not show up for the baptism. Seeing this, a young woman with kids the same age, who has worked with these two young ones in VBS and Sunday school, stepped up beside them, as did her husband. Tears welled as I witnessed this visible confirmation of the vows the congregation took at this baptism, to be family to these young people and watch over them. So now they are our kids too, baptized with water and the fire of the Holy Spirit, into the family of faith. I hope we will be able to bless them as much as they have already blessed us by their presence.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

The Farmers' Market

Summer has officially arrived. The local farmers' market is now open. I went yesterday for the first time this year before braving the local grocery store. I bought a cornucopia of fruits and vegetables--sweet Texas onions, yellow squash, beets with the greens still attached, tomatoes, blackberries and peaches. God's bounty is so beautiful and so delicious! Last night I washed and chopped the greens before sauteing them and roasted the beets. Along with pot stickers (I've become a Chinese dumpling addict!), they made a great supper. Besides the wonderful, healthy eating, I find it a blessing to visit with the farmers who bring the fruits of their hard work to share. Time seems to slow down in their presence. Perhaps that's because they are used to waiting patiently for the plants to mature. Some things cannot be forced or sped up, but must wait for God's time to reach their fullness. I'm going to try to remember that in the coming days as I go about my writing work.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Poetry Patrol

I latched onto Ted Kooser's phrase, "poetry patrol," in his book The Poetry Home Repair Manual. I realized that I had been on poetry patrol on our recent trip to Philadelphia. While my husband attended a conference, I walked around the city seeing the sights, some I searched out, like Galileo's telescope, and some found me, like the protest against Lockheed Martin's corporate contribution to war efforts. I came home with notes and ideas for several poems, which I now need to sit down and write.

I still have trouble making myself sit down to do the actual writing, though it's slowly becoming more of a habit. Why God has called me to the work of writing is still a mystery, but I'm trying to put one foot in front of another on this path upon which God seems to be directing me at present. I try to focus on the immediate rather than think too much about long term. After all, I have no idea how much long term I have. None of us know that for sure. My immediate problem is to find a way to describe the march of a half dozen individuals who chose to devote their time to protesting war and its profits, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were a dozen at most heading to a confrontation with a politically well-connected mega-corporation. But then I learned as a child in Sunday school that when God is with us, our own size and strength are irrelevant. All that matters is our faithfulness.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Thin Places

I have enjoyed my writing class at the local community center taught by a retired English professor with a gentle spirit and a gift for teaching. Each week he challenges us with assignments. This week one of those was to write about thin places--a Celtic concept that refers to those places where the veil between heaven and earth is thin, bringing us closer to God. I think of these as places the Holy Spirit haunts, reliably if not regularly. My favorite such place is the Presbyterian conference ground at Mo-Ranch outside Hunt, Texas. I never fail to encounter God each time I visit there.

This week, however, as I was thinking about the assignment, I discovered an unexpected thin place close to home. Last Friday our middle son, Greg, his wife and their two kids, came to visit. They took me for a picnic at Salado Creek for Mother's Day. The cool, clear creek meanders over pebbles and between tall oak and elm trees in the small tourist town of Salado, Texas. The creek has drawn visitors since Native Americans first frequented the spot. Our three sons loved to visit the creek when they were young, wading and catching all sorts of creatures they carted home. On Friday as I sat beside the creek and watched my son splash in the creek and look for tadpoles and minnows with his son, eternity stretched out before me and for a moment time stood still. I sensed God smiling upon us in that beautiful place. Perhaps one day Greg's son will take his son there as well, as life continues to spool from one generation to the next in God's endless blessing.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Pandemic Fear

We were returning from a trip to Philadelphia when we saw the first alarming news of the spread of swine flu on CNN in the airport waiting room at Dallas Fort Worth Airport. Since then the news has been grim, but according to the physicians in my life also overblown and exaggerated. Fear is just as contagious as a virus at times. Fear was actually the topic of my last sermon, its difficulties and the way it can freeze us in our tracks. We live in a time of fear---fear of disease and storms and terrorism and economic collapse. The world is a scary place, but it has always been scary to be human. The important question to ask is how do you deal with that fear so that it does not consume your life?

My fear is made manageable by the family and friends who love me and care about what's going on in my life. I heard just this morning from our former Chinese teacher, who has returned to teaching in her university in China. She had seen news of the swine flu in Texas and wrote to ask if we were okay. I wrote back to assure here we are fine at the moment. I'm praying for all of those who have been affected by this disease, including those like my husband, sons and daughter-in-law who are physicians caring for those who are ill.

But mostly the way I deal with fear is by turning to God. The text I preached on the Sunday after Easter was from the Gospel of John and ended with the author's explanation that the gospel was written so that we might believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing we might have life in his name. Not constant fear, which is no way to live, but life abundant and joyful. That's a lesson I have to regularly relearn, and I have my own times of fear and grief and sadness. But I have learned to turn to God for comfort in such dark and fearful times, and I've never been disappointed or left alone when I seek God's presence at such times.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Considering the Lilies

I'm slowly emerging from the fog of grief over my dad's death last fall, and I'm realizing how many things passed me by in that time of grief and family angst. I still find myself reaching for the phone to call him, and then remembering that, as my brother says, "It's LONG distance." Most recently it was because I wanted to share the news that he had another great-grandson. In this ongoing process of grief, I'm slowly finding that color and light and joy are gradually returning to my life, in the midst of days that are still unexpectedly bleak, gray and hard.

I found unexpected help a couple of days ago during my weekly trip to the local grocery store. I trudged in with my basket as usual, and there before me were the Easter lilies, scenting the air around them with their sweet smell. And Easter came upon me in that moment with all its promise, lifting the weight on my heart just a bit for good. As I always do, I brought one home with me to scent the air of our home and to remind me of God's promise of hope.

I just finished reading Rev. Dr. Scott Black Johnston's Easter sermon on Day 1.org. He is a former seminary professor, and an amazing preacher, who is now the Senior Pastor at Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church in New York City. One phrase in particular stuck with me, "Jesus is loose in the world." Praise God. Easter has come again. He is risen. He is risen indeed. Death doesn't have the last word after all. Jesus is loose in the world.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

The Still Small Voice

I went to a court hearing this past week, something I've not done since I retired from active law practice almost ten years ago. A young man who has been attending our church was arrested and at this hearing plead guilty to burglary, a serious charge. I also know him to have a good heart as I've watched him care for his sisters and brother with wisdom and discipline beyond his years. He's not yet out of high school. I found out about the hearing by accident, and decided it was important to go. I wanted to remind him that he is still a child of God, in spite of the big mistake he made.

Actually, the still, small voice that I've learned to recognize as God speaking to me nagged me mercilessly until I made plans to go. At the hearing they brought the young man in with shackles on his feet and hands, and I was glad our pastor and another friend from church were there along with his mom and one of her friends. His attorney asked the judge to reduce his bond so he could go home while he waits for his sentencing hearing. He's not been in trouble before, so those of us who know him are hoping that he will be able to go to a children's home on probation--a second chance. We're praying for that result at the next hearing.

Who of us has not needed a second chance in our lives? The judge recognized me from my days practicing law, which I hope was a good thing. In any case, he reduced the bond so that the kid was able to go home on a strict curfew the next day. Once again I was grateful that I had listened when God nudged me, and worried about the times when I've not paid close enough attention to recognize God's nudges. Easy to do when life takes over and the daily noise crowds out God's voice, which is indeed still and small. As one of my favorite seminary professors said, "It's not easy to hear God's voice in a place such as this."

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord;

Children are a reward from Him." Psalm 127. And I would add that grandchildren are a glimpse of heaven. Sam was born last week, and he and his mama are doing well. The rest of us are catching up on our sleep. I'm so grateful for this little boy, our fifth grandchild. What a blessing to live long enough to meet your children's children. I joke that I'm donating my brain cells to my grandchildren to explain why I don't remember things as quickly as I once did, but the truth is that they have taught me to expand my capacity for love.

When my sons were born, I learned what it was like, as someone wiser than me said, to have my heart walk around outside my body. With our grandchildren, I've learned the reality of sorrow and joy doubled. When something happens with one of these little ones, either good or bad, my heart rejoices, or hurts, for both the child and my child. Some of my friends are now having great-grandchildren, an experience I cannot imagine as our oldest grandchild is seven.

What I know for sure is that I have been richly blessed by the sons who are a heritage from God, and by the reward of knowing both them and their children.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Waiting for Sam

My life is in something of a holding pattern at the moment as we await the arrival of another grandchild, Sam. He's actually not due for almost two more weeks, but as he tried to put in an early appearance the week before last, we have all been expecting him to show up at anytime. After the early warning, however, he seems to be content to lie low. I've told his mama that he appears to be a prankster. Nonetheless, my bag is packed, and I'm ready to head out at a moment's notice.

When our daughter-in-law first began having contractions, her doctor sent her home on bed rest for a few days, which thankfully stopped the process. The news sent my mind racing back in time 30 years to the 10 weeks I spent on bed rest before Sam's daddy was born. Thirty years ago, being born after only 6 1/2 months gestation was essentially a death sentence. The treatment to stop early labor was basically Benadryl, alcohol and a lot of prayer. Fortunately I was cared for by a physician at a teaching hospital, who gave me an experimental drug when things threatened to get out of hand, and it worked. With the help of our church, many friends, and God, our youngest son arrived safe and sound only a week early. I've been prompted in the last week to write the story for this son, who is now waiting for his own son to arrive, to remind him that every baby is a miracle, and that he was more of a miracle than most.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Beelzefly

Today begins the sober season of Lent, but before embarking on this time of personal introspection and repentance for all the ways I fall short of what God intends my life to be, it's good to pause for just a moment to think back to last week and especially to last week's choir practice. We almost always have a lot of fun at choir practice, but last week's practice was over the top. Seemingly out of nowhere, a giant fly joined us shortly after practice started, alighting on the director's hair and refusing at first to budge. As efforts to shoo the fly away became more energetic, choir practice degenerated into a slapstick farce. Following the director as she flapped her arms alternately in time to the music followed by attempts to wave away the fly became a challenge. Some of the women on the front row began jumping up to help the director wave the fly away, making it even more difficult to stay in sync with the music. But when the fly landed on the piano keys, things really got out of hand! Responding to the cries urging her to swat the fly, the pianist swung gamely away, slipping backwards off her chair in the process. About this time, the pastor reappeared in the room with a can of insecticide and a large piece of cardboard and began chasing the fly around the room. Fumes filled the small space, but the fly finally began to slow in its gyrations. One of the tenors told us about a website where people can combine words to make new ones and of the new word "beelzebug" for an annoying insect that haunts a room. When the fly finally landed on the floor near the door, the woman next to me jumped up and, after several attempts, succeeded in squashing Beelzefly. In the midst of the cheers and hilarity that followed, the choir director was finally able to take us through the music for Sunday, which we sang with hearts made glad by holy laughter. If we are alert, we will often find God sprinkling our lives with joy, something like the fairy dust in the tales I loved as a child.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Out of Chaos, Hope

I'm not sure why I thought that life would slow down a bit in the New Year. For the moment, I'm grateful for a few minutes to write. After months of planning and frustration, the mission trip from our church to the Texas Gulf coast actually came off the weekend before last. We were the first group to stay in the new Presbyterian Disaster Assistance Volunteer Village at Texas City. As it turned out our arrival was an answer to the prayers of the brand new manager, Doug MacDonald, who, with Mike Kelly, had been working to ready the place for our arrival. There was no way the two of them could have accomplished all of the tasks that needed to be done in the time they had between their arrival and ours. The bunk and shower trailers pulled in from further east along the U.S. coast needed cleaning after coming out of storage, and also needed to be hooked up to sewer, water and electricity. The pots and pans and utensils also brought out of storage needed cleaning as did the kitchen at First Presbyterian Church in Texas City, which had agreed to allow the volunteer village to set up on their grounds and use their facilities. Somehow when God is involved in the planning things come together. So we showed up with folks who knew how to do plumbing and electrical work and construction as well as one man who was able to hook up a giant industrial gas stove in the kitchen. Add to that the magical cleaning genies (my name for the amazing women who spent their time cleaning anything that didn't move out of the way), and the amount of work that was accomplished from noon Friday through Saturday afternoon was nothing short of miraculous. Doug provided us with bright blue T-Shirts that said Presbyterian Disaster Assistance on the front and on the back--Out of Chaos, Hope. We managed to bring some hope in the chaos of the village so that other volunteers coming after us can bring hope in the chaos of the destruction wrought by Hurricane Ike. It was an humbling experience to be thanked by strangers who saw our shirts in church and at dinner for offering hope for the future simply by our presence. We came home tired, but ready to make plans to return again for the important work of helping to rebuild peoples' lives in a disaster area. There is still much work to be done, and many more volunteers are needed. If you want to help, call Penny Noel in the PDA housing office at 1-866-732-6121 and make your reservation. Groups of five or more adults from any organization are welcome. You don't have to be Presbyterian to sign up. I promise you will be blessed as we were as you in turn bless others.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

In the Company of Women

I had the privilege this past week of meeting for the second time with a group of women who gather to write and then to share stories from their lives. It's an eclectic group with a variety of life experiences, and both times I have met with them have been a blessings, especially the experience of learning more about these unique individuals. Of course God has created each of us as unique individuals, it's just that we don't often intentionally take the time to learn more about our sisters and brothers on this planet in such detail. This time we talked about crossroads in our lives--those times that changed the direction of our lives forever either through life circumstances or through our own actions. After listing all such crossroads we could think of in 10 minutes, we chose one to write about and to share.

Of all the many times of change in my life (and I was surprised how many I could list in such a short time), I chose to write about my decision to go to seminary. Doing so meant walking again in memory through the painful job change that led me to take a sabbatical from law practice and go to seminary to study God's word. In retrospect, I realize that God had already been calling me in that direction for some time. I learned through my own experience and those of my fellow classmates at seminary that when God calls, you might as well go quietly. Sooner or later you will likely end up there anyway, and it's less traumatic to go peacefully rather than wait to experience some of the ways God has of getting our attention. I personally know what it feels like to be run to ground by the Hound of Heaven. As a result, I've learned to pay better attention and to respond more promptly when God calls.

How richly my life has been blessed by the change I made, as painful as it was at the time. And how much I would have missed had I chosen to stubbornly stay in place rather than face the pain of loss and change. Time with these wonderful women was a good time to reflect on that hard earned wisdom and to share my story with the others. It was a time to remember that God is good and perhaps especially so in times of change.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Sanctuary

I spent four days this past week in a little corner of heaven, among poets and musicians and artists, all intent on encouraging each other and sharing their art. I have come to know these people in the past three years of attending the annual UMHB Writers' Festival, which is a remarkable, intimate experience of learning from other creative people. I have had few places of true sanctuary in my life so I welcome those when I stumble upon them. The last time I felt as safe as I feel with this group of folks was during my seminary experience. In a world that too often seems intent on conquering others rather than embracing their unique gifts, it is good to spend time among those who pursue a different more cooperative agenda. So my special thanks to Audell and Helen and all those who made the conference happen, and to the poets who have encouraged me in my stumbling efforts: Chris Boldt, Angela O'Donnell, Alan Berecka and Anne McCrady among others. Their work is worth finding and enjoying as is the music of Still on the Hill, two remarkable musicians who are hard at work saving and promoting the folk music tradition I loved as a young person. They led a song-writing workshop at the conference that was delightful. My life has been blessed once again by this festival, and I have come away refreshed and ready to tackle anew this solitary task of writing to which God seems intent on calling me.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Travels at home

We had the privilege of hosting a student from China during the Christmas break, and said goodbye to him yesterday afternoon as he moved on to spend the last few days of break with another family. The visit took me back to the days when our three sons were college age. He definitely lives in a different time zone. He was going to bed shortly before we got up each morning. We learned more about his country at dinner, and he was patient with our efforts to speak Chinese. We're learning the language for one of our beautiful grandsons, who is learning Chinese from his mom and other grandmother. We don't have many opportunties to practice here in Central Texas, so it was fun to try it out on Lan. I miss our conversations at dinner, and find myself thinking about this young man and how much his mother and father and grandparents must miss having him at home. Hopefully we'll get to see him again this spring, and perhaps meet some of the other Chinese students who are currently attending the university where I sometimes teach. What a blessing to get to know another child of God from the other side of the world. Shangdi bao you ni, Lan. Zai Jian!

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue

Beginning Again

I'm not sure what it is about the artificial beginning of a New Year that seems to provide a clean slate, but it is nice to think about the next twelve months and what 2009 will bring. We are expecting another grandchild this spring, so more joy is in store. I'm hopeful that this year will include fewer losses than last year, when my husband lost both his parents, and I lost my dad. I will be celebrating a milestone birthday this year and will have to give some thought to how best to do that in a way that honors God for all the blessings I have enjoyed in this good life I have been granted. I'm thinking about a trip to Zambia with a group from my seminary, but we'll have to see how things go this spring as well as how expensive the trip will be. I'm sure as the year continues, it will rapidly start to feel less like that clean slate. Fortunately I know that God's promises are new every morning, so I don't have to wait until next year to begin again--something I have no doubt I'll want to do frequently as the year progresses.

Grace and Peace,
Donna Sue